Taming the monster

I’m on my own today as the family are away on a day trip. I elected to stay behind as there was a delivery and a few things to do here.

Today is one of those days, where for no reason, I’m feeling low. Not at the bottom treading the surface, not even The Slide just low feeling. When like this, everything is a bit harder and everything seems out of whack, little things that are unimportant get to me more. It takes more effort to do anything.

It’s at this point I know that I must do something positive to stop my mood from getting to The Slide and that takes me into a really bad place. Mundane things that need to be done, making coffee, baking or going for a walk all help, so after I finish the blog that’s what I’ll do.

It’s odd and random, without any reason or apparent trigger. The Sneaky Bastard decides for me and I don’t get a say but I can help by trying to keep it at arms length.

I am worried about a few things and have been ruminating more over the past couple of days, not anything major but things I don’t want to think about. Most of these points are consigned in history, only existing in memory but they hold a power which I don’t like, therefore I have learned to move my mind’s focus to more positive thoughts.

It’s an old technique used by many people before me, imagining being in a place you love to be or a time you were happy, even making plans for doing something, making a trip. I’ve been thinking about getting away before the season ends on a camping trip, it’s a matter of where to go.

I was never one for camping. It really didn’t appeal to me and preferred the inside of a nondescript hotel room. I went camping recently as I didn’t want the added cost of a room or house and found the noise of the open air near the sea was exactly the sort of thing I enjoyed, even the wind and rain while in a tent was calming.

I’ve been looking at campsites where I can go, on a budget and would dearly love to visit a couple which are on islands, either in the Hebrides or bizarrely the Isle of Wight. I had family on IoW and as a child, we holidayed there, which stays strong in the mind. It holds a special place and I would like to go back there, this time camping.

For now, I’ve got to tackle this mood, give it’s butt a kick.

Be kind to yourself.

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