I went for a walk this morning, first time I’ve felt able to push myself to do something for a couple of weeks now.
It’s a bit muggy with a fine rain, very light, which is lovely to walk in. I had my headphones on listening to music, blocking the world’s noise out with sounds that I wanted to hear.
The great thing about walking in the rain is the smell of the plants and grass becomes so much more pungent. As I was walking, I became more aware of it and really took it in with each breath. It’s something that makes you feel that bit more alive and thankful for it being there.
Walking allows me to think and slow down my thoughts, let myself be taken by the music, only good stuff on my playlists, let my mind wander. It helps me sort through the thoughts, let things through when they are relevant and wanted, disregard others as negative or destructive which isn’t always easy. The physical aspect does help with this as the stress that builds or has built gets eaten away.
Music also has a power to move the very soul and get to parts I never realised could be stirred. I suppose I am a musician, as I played for most of my life, but now I rarely have the motivation to pick up the guitar or drumsticks and get lost for a while. I sing everyday along to my playlists or radio, even in the shower but I rarely sit down, pick up the guitar and play.
The burnout certainly rewired me but it didn’t take away my love of music. I feel there is a bit of something in me is stuck and can’t get free, a block preventing me from moving on. It will trigger and burst at some point, allowing me to move on and relax. Sometimes music is that trigger, hitting the right spot at the right time and I am free.
I have wanderlust again though, thinking of travelling and discovering new places. Lady M mentioned visiting the Outer Hebrides the other day, something that’s been building in me for some time and I am thinking that would be a great place to start. A feeling like I am on the edge of the world, away from it all and so much to discover.
I’ve also been thinking of another camping trip at some point, but not sure when and thinking of a quiet island somewhere off the west coast of Scotland. Just me, the elements and my music.
Right now, I feel like I achieved a task rather than feeling relaxed with that walk, but I did do some processing and got the legs moving, which are positives. Just need to do more of it.
Get your tunes on and be kind to yourself.