The worst of aspect of having a couple of days activity is that today, I’m paying for it. It’s one of those moments when I discover that my illness takes away more than I realised.
It was a good couple of days, culminating in seeing my daughter sing with the county school choir at Birmingham Symphony Hall. I spent the day driving her to the meet point, then up to Birmingham to listen to some excellent choirs, all composed of school age kids, all very talented.
I’ve worked in the garden and baked cakes for my son to take on his last week of school term. And it’s been hot, very hot, which I can struggle, being that I’m more used to water, being Scottish, lots of it falling from the sky in various ways.
I slept late this morning as a result and I’m feeling somewhat woozy, cotton headed, fuzzy. I suspect today will be a quiet day at home where I recover some strength for another day.
I feel it is ridiculous to be so tired after a couple of days gentle activity. I’m 48, married with children and used to being moderately active, getting things done during the day but now, it seems to take more out of me than before.
However, I must start doing more and push myself in a positive way. It has to be good for my recovery to start doing and achieving, which there are a lot of things to do around the house. I think a few runs to the tip are in order as there are bags in the garage and I’ve not seen the floor in there for some time. It’s a metaphor for my brain, I reckon – lots of baggage which is cluttering the place up. Time to have a clear out, is the first part.
Interestingly, I’ve been given the details of a charity that runs a scheme for those with mental health issues that deals in horticulture. Out of my comfort zone and learning while getting outside is appealing, especially as it is a professionally run manor garden. I am in two minds, as I feel it is difficult to commit to anything right now but this might be the sort of activity that helps me in my recovery.
That leaves me with what to do with the rest of my day, which is likely to be sofa and a movie or two before the kids get home, with my son finishing for summer. He’s likely to be bouncing around later and those summer days as a child are brought into memory for me, through him.
I’m going to have an Al Bundy sofa day.
Be kind to yourself today.