This week I have been feeling much better. My mood and motivation has been up, feeling a bit better about myself. Not sure if this is just the end of a depressive cycle, change in meds or a response to the kindness of others. May be a combination and whatever is the cause, I am thankful for it.
I wasn’t quite expecting to be so tired though. Sleep is often and deep, which surprises me, as a doze during the day is what normally gets me through. This is longer and a lot deeper than normal.
It’s not that I am doing a heck of a lot. Friday, went into town with Lady M, had lunch, fell asleep for a couple of hours. Yesterday, I took Rory to his football in the morning, watched a game when I got back (bloody wish I hadn’t bothered) and then had another sleep. When I go to bed, I’m sleeping deeply and well too.
I’m making the assumption that this is part of recovery, getting the body regenerated after expending a lot of energy in a depressive state. I do hope to get into normal patterns at some point and then can see about taking the next steps to regaining a normal life, whatever that hell that might be.
I remember reading in a book, one of those action types, that ‘sleep is a weapon’, therefore I must be well armed. But I’m not. I’m still tired in the main and a bit fragile, although not as volatile as I was previously, I suspect. Hopefully this is how recovery feels and I’m on the way up the road as this feels different, not so bleak just tired.
I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Bank holiday here which means I get everyone home for an extra day, which is lovely. Well, might be if the kids ever come out of the rooms they are hiding in at the moment. I think a family meal in front of a movie tonight is on the cards.
Be kind to yourself. There’s only one of you and you’re worth it.